My prayer life came back…The nightmares stopped.
I have been attending Abundant Life since March and absolutely love it! Prior to coming here I had been going through a lot and was in the worst state mentally, physically, emotionally, etc. My mother and grandmother both passed in previous years and I fell into a deep depression. My perception of a lot of things and God began to change because of that and other circumstances. I slipped more into sin, as well. I left church for a while and my life got really dull. The pandemic started and throughout I felt God had completely left me. There was a lot of doubt, confusion, self-hatred, fear etc. and I had nightmares. My mind was in a bad state and the more people would try to help me and speak to me but I would become more confused. My sister and I would talk still and I had a cousin who brought me some devotional material and I read I think one thing out of that and wrote down a prayer afterwards. One day I was on Facebook and my sister shared one of the services. I started watching and I think it was a Monday night service when Pastor Kirkpatrick was asking for prayer request. I requested a lot but the main thing I remember was prayer for my mind. So I would watch a service every now and then. Throughout that whole time I would try to pray and read my bible but felt nothing. My passion for music was diminishing and I went days without playing or listening to anything but I still desired to play after 2 years. The place I was in allowed me to have my own bedroom so despite how I felt I gradually started praying more and more and read my word and would make an effort to sin less. And I would really want to come to the church but there was fear. But one day I really felt the urge to come and I came and King of Glory tore me up! It had been quite a while since I'd been in such an atmosphere but it felt very welcoming and warm. I started coming more with my sister and she would bring me to rehearsals too. One Sunday I asked one of the musicians if I could play with them and here I am. The more I came the more I applied the word to my living "diligent application". My prayer life came back, I am reading the word like I used to and sometimes I can't put it down. I received a lot of revelation. My perception of God is back to normal. The nightmares stopped. The confusion, doubt, and other strongholds were broken. My entire thought pattern has changed and I don't even think like I used to. I see myself as God sees me. There is no fear. I am improving in every type of way. I just realized also that I stayed in the same place for 12 months straight and had to let go a lot of people despite how bad it hurt and despite their reactions to me doing so. I've seen the glory of God manifested in my life and I am so ready for what's next!!